NCCP Managing Conflict

Source: My personal notes from course taught by Rod Scott

Learning Outcomes

• Identify common sources of conflict in sport
• Take steps to prevent and resolve conflict resulting from misinformation, miscommunication or misunderstanding
• Listen and speak for yourself in conflict situations to maintain positive and healthy relationships with athletes, parents, guardians, officials, other coaches and administrators

About NCCP and Managing Conflict

From 1974 in Ottawa

• 1 National Program
• 3 streams:
  • Community: largest group, younger athletes (age < 12), fun
  • Competition
  • Instruction
• 5 core competencies - and mapping to conflict
  • Problem solving
    • Resolve conflict
  • Valuing
    • Know conflict is natural
    • Balance needs of everyone
  • Critical thinking
    • Make options
  • Leading
    • Listen, communicate
  • Interacting
    • Exchange ideas
• 7 outcomes
  • Coaches get trained and evaluated on outcomes

About Conflict

• Disagreement, can come from differences like goals, values
• Conflict resolution can help with sharing common goals and understanding
• Be accepting and open
• Examples:
  • Clarifications are needed
  • Commitments

Perspectives on Conflict

Objects and conflict comparison

Conflict is like a:

• Toolbox
  • Tools are like conflict resolution strategies
  • Sometimes you cannot find the resolution you are looking for and make do
  • When you have a hammer like a conflict resolution session as a tool everything looks like a nail
  • You have many tools to solve the problem
  • You should measure 3 times (analyze the conflict) and cut once, apply your solution
  • You have to learn how to use your tools, like what we are doing now
  • There different are specialists in using certain tools
• Lighthouse
  • Foggy, find a light
  • Dark, something will happen
  • Uncertainty
• Zipper
  • Can go forward and backward
  • Most people have experience with it
  • Resolution, not always smooth
  • You can hurt yourself and others

Common elements: uncertainty, getting hurt, many resolutions and may not work

Cycle of Conflict

• Prevent > Identify > Manage > Resolve

Ideas:

• Set goals
• Set expectations, have discussions
• Have athletes create plans
  • Sportmanship, competitive spirit

Conflict in Sport

Be self aware - values, strength, weakness

Implicit association test:

• Measure strength of associations between:
  • Concepts
  • Evaluations
  • Stereotypes
• Can check attitudes and bias to race, gender, sexuality, age, religion
• “Implicit bias test”
• Sense unknown, subconscious bias

Core Conflict Scenario

Gym

Description:

During a sport practice, a recreational athlete’s parent felt they observed their child not receiving enough guidance on an activity the athlete was afraid of. After practice, the parent contacted the head coach to tell their observation and concern. They wanted their child to receive additional guidance during the next practice.

Timeline:

• Parent of athlete
• Athlete participated in the trampoline station of a practice
• Head coach spoke coach to give them the feedback and observation
• Coach spoke with the athlete before practice of that station

People:

• Parent - concern for child’s enjoyment
• Athlete - is a beginner in the sport, afraid
• Head coach
• Coach

1. Multipliers

   • Emotions
   • Competing interest
   • Personalities
   • Power / control changes

Basketball

• Physical competition, players not getting enough playing time

Frisbee

• Different principles
• Borderline cheating observed by team
• Requested observers
• Game ended with unfair play

Sources of Conflict

• Ratio of coaches of athletes
• Parents
• Level of athletes
• Time constraints
• Athletes’ background
• Injury, safety prevention
• Environment, practice equipment, weather
• Roles of players and coach
• Playing time
• Limited resources
• Relationships
• Training methods
• Social life, events before practice

Levels of Conflict

Levels and multipliers that make conflict higher

Levels:

• Facts
  • Misunderstanding, lack of information
• Goals
  • Disagreement on outcomes
• Methods
  • How something is done
• Values
  • What is right?

Multipliers:

• Personal multipliers
  • Style
  • Power/control struggle
  • Threat to self-esteem
  • Emotions:
    • Jealously
    • Resentment
    • Fear
    • Uncertainty
  • Stress
• Organizational multipliers
  • Roles
  • Power structure
  • Competing interests
  • Communications
  • Consensus
  • Governance
  • Prior conflicts
  • Politics
  • Individual personalities in groups
• Social media multiplier
  • Easier multiple person messaging, but can be misinterpreted
  • Public conflict and external participants
  • Available at all times
  • Anonymous messaging

Solutions: Rule of Two

Make all interactions open and observable to protect athletes and minors.

Rule must always have one coach and adult/coach at all times

• Coach in public environment
• Have a coach and assistance, especially if gender dynamics
• Request adults be present

Remember ethics: Leadership, Respect/integrity, Safety

Managing Conflict

Reflective Assessment

Promotes self awareness, improve on weaknesses and use strengths

My perspective:

• How do I share my opinions?
  • Quietly, calmly and try to be factual
• How do I respond when someone disagrees with me
  • Listen, ask them to tell me more
• When I find myself in conflict, what words would someone use to describe how I respond?
  • Calm, kind

Athlete’s perspective:

• How does your coach share their opinions?
  • Can you loud, yell sometimes
• How does your coach respond with disagreement?
  • Listen, provides options
  • Can be inconsistent
• When your coach is in conflict, how would you describe how they respond?
  • Wish they would be more firm

Superviser perspective:

• How does your coach share their opinions?
  • Calmly and respectfully
• How does your coach respond with disagreement?
  • They listen and try to understand the situation
  • Can be more firm and enforce rules
• When your coach is in conflict, how would you describe how they respond?
  • Calm
  • Following the plan they set up before practices

Approaches to Management Conflict

5 approaches to managing conflict:

Ranging from assertive to cooperative

Assertive

High
Competing Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding Accommodating
Low

+——————————— Cooperative High

Assertive use:

• Time sensitive

• Safety issue

• Emergencies

• Able to use power and authority: “Don’t smile until December”

• Competing: “Might is Right”

• Cooperative: “Kill them with kindness”

  • Harmony among people
  • Negotiation required

• Collaborating: “Two heads are better than one”

  • Work together on coaching plans and conflict issues
  • Depends on role

• Avoiding: “Leave well enough alone”

• Compromising: “Let’s split the difference”

Approaches:

• My preferred approach is accommodating, avoiding - competing
• Competing approach may be required when sport technical issues are present

Who is a Good Listener

• They just listen and can reflect on your comments
• Ask clarification questions and feedback if needed
• They indicate they are paying attention like short verbal feedback, body language
• They do not judge
• Easygoing in terms of topics
• They agreed to dedicate time to talk
• They can share insights about what you said their personal relevant experiences

Active Listening Skills (ALS)

• Attentive - be present, focused
• Bridging - Physical
  • 80% direct eye contact, 20% indirect facial contact
  • No barriers with listener
  • No fidgeting
  • Acknowledgements
• Ask questions
  • Get small clarifications
• Restating
• Paraphrasing

Creating a Private Environment

• Private space in a public area
• Get another adult to just be present

Exercise

• Speaker
• Listener - self critique
• Observer - time 3 mins and remarks
  • Relaxed, open
  • Nods
  • Eye contact
  • Mirror feelings - laugh, clap, sad feeling
  • Mirror person
  • Verbal acknowledgement
  • Focused
  • Reflective comments about trips
  • Bridging - positive affirmations
  • Smiles

Challenging Situations

Example Situation, All Boys gym class

• Class of 6 boys, aged 4-5
• Individually, they listened to instruction, but as a group class, I could not get them to focus on an activity. I understand they wanted to have fun in class, but as a result would sometimes do unsafe things or disrupted the class learning
• Why challenging:
  • Individual athletes could listen, but not as a group
  • Parents would apply pressure to the head coach if they felt their children were not learning skills
  • Different practice options were tried to keep the boys engaged and active

1. Examples

   Disrespectful athlete to other athletes and coaches:

   • Athletes got parents and school administrative involved
   • Strategies:
     • Do not judge person
     • Be optimistic
     • Do not single out athlete, describe your own expectations

   Coaching conflict:

   • Coach did not make practice plans
   • Head coach advise coach should prepare and teach in a certain way
   • Strategies:
     • Concentrate on present
     • Listen to person

Strategies

• Concentrate on present
• Focus on behaviours
• Give others permission to talk
• Speak for yourself
  • State what you observe
  • State your opinion
  • Share what led to your conclusions
  • Ask how the other person sees the situation

Speaking for Yourself Script:

• Yes, I saw the athlete was timid when using the trampoline. I asked her try and if not comfortable, she could wait in the rest station
• I understand what you shared from the parent and why the parent made the comment
• I believe by modifying my practice plan for options for athlete and getting their input, we can find options for them to be comfortable at the station
• Do you have another advice?

Meta:

• Facts and my feelings and context
  • Describe constraints and the environment?
• Actions going forward

Resolving Conflict

Resolution

Goal: resolving the conflict is about finding ways to positively end the conflict

Steps and Examples:

• Think options
  • Athlete’s independent session, private, public
  • Modify practice plan
  • Senior athletes
  • Explain to parent why
  • Do nothing
• Look at problem from different perspectives
  • What would the parent want
  • Consider your mentor
  • Athletes’ perspective - can be unfair
• Test each idea against reality
  • Talk through
• Select a resolution and communicate to people involved
  • Modify practice plan, senior athletes
  • Communicate to athlete, parent if possible, head coach

Creativity:

• Look from different perspectives, how would someone else solve something
• Look for win-win situations
• Make decisions easy to accept
• Check strengths and weaknesses

Preventing conflict

Prevention Strategies

• Share information
  • Communicate as early as possible to all involved at athletes, coaches, staff, parents, facilities
  • Share information in person
  • Organization stuff like:
    • Practice schedule
    • Season
    • Checklists
    • Travel
• Share expectations
  • Share early to avoid conflict
  • Encourages compliance when expectations are realistic and clear
  • Normal behaviour
• Clear roles
• Be stable and predictable
• Build relationships

Prevention Work

• Prevent from happening in the first place
  • Communicate to parents, athletes
• Prevent scenario from happening again
  • Practice plan, create stability and consistency

Example of Action Card after Course

I will start

• Using an appropriate approach to managing conflict like competing in emergency situations and compromising if other approaches failed
• Be open to conflict
• Speaking for myself (I observed, I will do)

I will stop

• Avoiding sharing some expectations in the interests of time during practices

I will continue

• Using the conflict resolution steps of options, perspectives analysis, testing, and doing/communicating it
• Using listening skills